Posted today on my facebook page:

What if computer programming was treated like competitive sports?

Commentator speaking in a hushed voice as the camera pans from a wideshot of Garnet's desk to a closeup of his screen:

OK, Garnet Chaney's setup the method with a proper set of error checks, he has made sure that all the inputs are legal, and now he's getting into the meat of the method. Is he going to use a FOR loop or a WHILE loop with a local variable? His concentration is intense, he appears like he's hesitating at the keyboard.... Oh look at that, he went for a FOR EACH loop!

(Crowd cheering!)

Jack, that's looking just like the method subroutine he wrote 28 minutes ago where he used an iterator on a hash object... Oh look at that, (the crowd roars!) he's going for the refactor to combine the two routines, and he's going to use the mediator pattern with a static method... Wow, what a masterful set of keystrokes....

And now a word from our sponsor, "Accucream Typing Balm". After the break we'll visit Nik Page as he tries to reproduce a crash bug in Garnet's code, and watch as Ivaylo Lenkov's team discovers whether or not they can extend Garnet's code or if it is more fun to just rewrite it, and then we'll hear from Garnet's boss as he lectures Garnet on how they company could be worth a BILLION dollars if only Garnet would work harder, and does he understand how much his ten percent ownership share of a BILLION dollar company would be worth.... Stay tuned to the Wide World of Programming..... (cut to upbeat network program music....)

Garnet sees the on air light turn off, quickly checks Facebook....