Bookmark
Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Forgiveness
FORGIVE AND MOVE ON
If you reach out, the person who hurt you may be willing to try being friends again.
Letting Go of Resentment
In the course of living, we can be hurt by others. Hurts can come in many forms. They can be such things as being rejected, overly critical observations, blatant lies, or hurtful words spoken to us. They can come from your relatives, your close friends, or your dating partner.
Bottling up hurt feelings for a long time causes a lot of stress and can cause minor and major diseases and illnesses. Learning to forgive significant hurts and then move on is an important part of staying healthy, in both mind and body.
Forgiving Myths
- It's always easy to forgive
- Forgiveness requires rebuilding the relationship
- Forgiveness equals forgetting everything
- Forgiveness means forgetting the consequences
- If they don't repent, I should not forgive
The Crisis of Forgiving
We can make a joke about small hurts. But some hurts are so unfair, and so deeply felt, that they cause "a Crisis of Forgiving" — we can't bring ourselves to forgive the human being who caused the hurt (even when we know the hurt was not on purpose). If you've been hurt, you probably feel animosity, or even rage. Holding in your feelings is stressful, and can also increase other stresses. When you face the pain (and the person who hurt you), you can bring an end to the "Crisis of Forgiving" and lead a healthier, happier life.
Learn A Way to Forgive
Being hurt by someone you trust can be particularly pain causing. While it can be difficult, try to be open and accepting as you explain to that human being what he or she did to hurt you so deeply, then try to imagine that the event had never happened. You may find out that you can stand back and be objective about the human being who hurt you. You may find out that the human being is suffering from illness, or simply human, and needs your help. With new insights, your pain and anger may give way to forgiveness and compassion.
Holding in your feelings can cause illness.
The Nature of Forgiving
Forgiving is part of healing, but it is not denying, or ignoring the event that caused the pain. Forgiving includes remembering, letting go of anger, recognizing what happened, and moving on. Forgiving is often a slow, confusing process. You can forgive and still feel some anger.
Forgiving Profits
Life is easier after forgiveness. After forgiving, you will find peace of mind. You can get on with your life when part of you is freed from having to resent those who have harmed you.
Other Resources: