That was a fun phone call. "Unknown name", "unknown number". Some guy claiming to be Travis Jordan from "American Home Craft", and the "Energy Awareness Program".
Asked if I had a home in Novato. I decided it would be fun to see how long I could keep him on the line, while answering his questions as if I lived in a nursing home.
Him: Do you have a school nearby?
Me: Ummmmm. Yes....
Him: Great that means you've qualified for our special program!
Me: Uh, but I think they closed the school two years ago. Do I still qualify?
Him: Oh yeah, sure.
Him: How long have you lived there?
Me: Oh, 15 years
Him: Do you have single pane or double pane windows?
Me: Uh, what about my pain?
Him: Do you have single pane or double pane windows?
Me: Uh, I think they are what are called, double, um, double, uh, double hung, yeah, double hung.
Him: Oh that's nice. Are they single or double pane?
Me: They are double hung.
Him: Ok, that's great.
Him: Are you in the middle of the block, or on the corner?
Me: In the middle of the block
Him: Do you have any parks nearby?
Me: Yes
Him: How many windows would you want to replace?
Me: Uh, there are two windows in my room.
Him: Our windows are self cleaning?
Me: Wow. How do they do that?
Him: They have jetdry technology.
Me: Jetblue? What does jetblue have to do with my windows?
Him: No jetdry. When you clean your dishes and they dry off, we use the jetdry in our windows
Me: But I use a dishwashing machine. Do you mean I have to wash my windows in my dishwasher?
Him: Does anyone live with you?
Me: About 25 people here.
Him: What do you mean 25 people? Do you have a lot of roommates?
Me: No, I only have one roommate.
Him: What do you mean 25 people? Do you live in an apartment or a house?
Me: I live in a home. I think there are 25 people in the retirement home.
Him: Oh, I'm sorry this is only for houses.
Me: But you said I qualified because there is a closed school down the street.
Total time wasted: 8 minutes!
BTW, what do neighborhood schools, and parks, have to do with needing your windows replaced?
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